All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize