she woke up with a sticky ear
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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