she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize