can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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