Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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