I faked an abortion last night.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize