very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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