Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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