I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize