so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize