I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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