Sponge bath it is.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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