its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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