im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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