So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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