I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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