Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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