Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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