Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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