Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize