Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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