Operation Purity has been aborted
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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