he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
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