This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
MIDGETS
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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