So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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