i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
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My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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