I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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