I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize