Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
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You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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