Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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