You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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