I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
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I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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