enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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