Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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