I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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