I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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