Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
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had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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