She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize