watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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