i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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