all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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