we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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