Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize