Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize