ya dads aren't the best wingmen
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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