Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize