Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
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I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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