And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize