Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize