we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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